The Great Pumpkin isn’t so great!

It is Halloween season and being the Holiday Girl that I am, I’ve started celebrating early and in full force. As a matter of fact, Halloween has become one of the most celebrated holidays for adults and it just doesn’t get any better than being able to dress up as someone else, act the part, and not get the “she must be off her meds” stare from here to eternity. The parties are fun, the treats are great, and knowing who The Great Pumpkin is, puts it all in perspective. Or maybe not. You see, I thought I had this whole Halloween thing wrapped up. I’ve done Haunted Houses, Trick or Treating, Costume and Pumpkin Carving contests, Hay Rides, the whole nine. What I didn’t do was my research on the doggone pumpkin. How at fifty years of age do you not know that a pumpkin is a type of squash? Or, even better, who gives a rat’s behind? I’ll tell you who does. Mr. Green Thumb Sexy Nobody who takes me on a first date to lunch and when all goes well, he decides to extend it to the Arboretum because it is fall and the leaves are changing, and all the pumpkins are on display. After two full hours of viewing rows of magnificent fall foliage hand in hand, we head towards the exit and he stops to admire the full display of squash which includes the great pumpkin. Suddenly, Ms. Dumb Pumpkin Broad asks why the pumpkin is with the squash, and the scary look on his face is too frightful for words. The loosening grip of his hand immediately tells me there will be no frolicking in the pumpkin patch and there will be no chance in hell for a second date, which is exactly why The Great Pumpkin isn’t so great.

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